Cari’s Blog: The Unlikely Origin

I’ve been at it for several days – the planning and thinking of what to put in my blog. What do I want to write about? What do I want to share? I’ve tried numerous names for my blog site. I’ve conjured up different word combinations. I’ve made formulas for suitable word equations (whatever that is):article + adj + noun = perfect name… my name + a word that rhymes = perfect name… etc. It wasn’t easy! You see, there’s just way too many things to describe myself. If I focus on one aspect, the other aspects of myself will just suffer. Poor other aspects of me.

Then I pondered on what I’m so passionate about. Other bloggers suggested that I write about something that elicits my passion. Well… there were just one too many. I could talk about my singing, my schooling, being a millennial, being a writer-wannabe, a reader, a dancer, an art lover, my love life, my hidden desires…hell! I could go on and on and on. But blogging research suggests that I have to find my niche. I almost gave up trying because to be honest, I can’t even grasp the whole niche-thing. But I really want to start this blog! I feel like I need to. I just have to! The stubborn me whispers you just have to focus… find harmony and coherence and your center…you can do it.

So, I went through many names and experimented on possible “niches”. I was glasses girl…lady of the tropics…lady tropical..askyna…yna collection…poetryna, and many more. Ha! It was just so difficult for me to decide. My mind wanders constantly to something else. Perhaps the main reason for this is that I have gone through many phases in life. I’ve been interested in a lot of things. I’ve tried numerous activities and with each of these things, I was passionate and hooked. I find it unfair to focus on just one of my interests. The whole Me now is the totality of all my interests and passions. Therefore, I went deeper into thinking…

Then it just hit me. Through all those “phases” and in all those years bettering myself, I was always distinguished by my physique. It occurred to me that people never associated me with thinness. What’s up with that? I spent years trying to be perfect – “holy and blameless” even, but I never got to that ideal version of me. Why? Because the truth is, nobody’s perfect and nobody will ever be perfect. Even with my past attempts at being the caris blog the unlikely origin“ideal girl”, I just couldn’t measure up to that eschewed standard of the “ideal”. When the world said that Thin is In, I tried to be “in”. Unfortunately, I wasn’t meant to be thin;  I will NEVER be thin even if I work hard for it. God knows I’ve tried my best in the past in losing the extra 30 pounds that classified me as “overweight”. Even as I reached my ideal weight, I never looked the way a 50-Kilo woman should look. There was just something in my body that rebels against the status quo.

I left it at that. I eventually resigned to the fact that I will never look as thin as I am supposed to be.  I was fit, healthy and strong; that was all that mattered.

Then the world started talking about Kim Kardashian’s big booty. Consequently we all began to look at Beyonce’s body and realized that she isn’t on the “thin side”. Demi Lovato talked about redefining body-image and thanked Kim K. for it. Suddenly, Thicker is Better (I just made this up… haha). It is no surprise that I saw my “un-thinness” in a different light. I am curvy – on the heavy side (but not quite).

You know what happened next. There was that “Aha!” moment – that “Ching” sound that made the wheels in my mind ‘a turnin’. Imagine a lightbulb above my head lighting up. That. I thought, Why not blog about what’s going on in a curvy  person’s head? How about her curiosities in life? I could write about my curiosities, right? Just about anything under the sun. For sure, there is more to being just curvy. There’s more to identifying a person based on how she looks…

All these came to be because I thought of my “curviness” – an unlikely subject to draw my goals from, really.

So, here we go…

 


The Birth of This Blog

2 thoughts on “Cari’s Blog: The Unlikely Origin

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