Minding Bridget Jones

“Completely exhausted by entire day of date – preparation. Being a woman is worse than being a farmer – there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done, legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturized, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised. The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature – with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each skin, Dennis Healey eyebrows, face a graveyard of dead skin cells, spots erupting, long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter, blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses, flabby body flobbering around. Ugh, ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence? Continue reading “Minding Bridget Jones”

Black Sheep

Lazy, irresponsible, insensitive, snob, diva…

Few words they throw to define her.
Of all people, she hears it from her family – her so-called family.
Sometimes she would think that she doesn’t belong to that family.
They’re “too good” to get along with the likes of her.
She wonders why they are of her own kind and of her own blood.
It is easy to disown her, it seems. Continue reading “Black Sheep”