Crystal Near the Threshold

She’s not in a state of stress right now. She’s not intimidated at all by the sudden bestowing of serious responsibilities – academic paper work, extra-curricular paper work, paper work by faculty request, paper work by request of organizations and clubs, exams on paper, exams not on paper…

No.

It’s just the suddenness of it all that weighs Crystal Sierra down.

“I wish I had more time,” she ruminated. Why was everything given at such a short notice? And why was it so difficult for her to just say NO? It’s an easy word to utter, is it not?

“What’s troubling you, Tal?” Francine Vendo inquired of her friend. “Weren’t you the one to ask for it? You wanted to be busy, right? Now, you have what you asked for.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that, I wish I could split my body in two. I can deal with school stuff, alright. But with Church responsibilities in the side, I don’t think I can…”

“what’s more important to you anyway? School or church? If I were you, I’d drop the church stuff. Don’t they have paid workers for that?

“I wish I can just drop it. My church is different. There aren’t enough workers. Besides, I’m committed to this music thing until the musician arrives from abroad.”

“But it’s easy for you to play the keyboard, isn’t it? You’ve been doing it all your life. What’s so stressful with that? You should be able to play with eyes closed!”

“That’s the thing. I have been playing the keyboard all my life, but I haven’t got to the point where I could just close my eyes and feel the music. I’m not my mother who can read notes with one look at the piece in front of her; I can’t sight-read! And people expect me to be a virtuoso like my mother!”

“You can’t blame people, Tal. People expect that because that’s just how it goes. Genetics thing, I guess… and perhaps people are willing to do more for you that’s why they expect more from you. ‘Get what I mean here? So don’t take it the wrong way.”

Crystal managed to smile at that thought, “I like that thing you said. ‘gives me butterflies here,” and gestured towards her tummy. “I have read somewhere that you should be extra flattered if you got more problems than others…”

“And why is that?”

“That just means God trusts your capabilities more.”

“There! You have that to think about. Tell that to yourself.”

“Some tough love, don’t you think? He gives me heavy responsibilities because he thinks I can manage? Haha.”

“Why do you laugh, Tal?”

“I’m just not sure if I’m into such Tough Love.”

“Tough love from whom, Tal?”

“From God…”

“So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying… maybe if I show Him and prove to Him that I can’t, then maybe… He won’t give me this much task.”

“Will that make you happy, though?”

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