Carine’s Small Rebellion

It’s that time of the school year when students are obliged to “assess” their professors for the semester that is about to close. As much as Carine wanted to say bad things, diss, and look for something that contributes to a professor’s ruination, say, for the sake of attention, noise-making, talk, criticism, and childish fun, she could’nt conjure up anything of the destructive kind – nothing of the harmful vein. It wouldn’t be fair, you see. Even with a sometimes careless and imprudent heart with pessimistic inclinations, Carine upholds that truth is truth; facts are facts. What is obvious is clear... and what not.

The positive qualities of the professors who taught during the semester, outshine the trivial negatives. Surely, those “negatives” had been tolerable, acceptable, petty, and frivolous; nothing of importance – nothing remotely affecting… nothing that damages a youth’s self-esteem… nothing that results to a dent in someone’s car…nothing that shakes a student’s resolve and focus. Even Carine who tends to find fault and see fault in its infancy cannot dismiss the fact that majority of the professors had been really, really good. This is an overstatement and an understatement combined. Carine doesn’t know what to say, really. She couldn’t opt to be blind towards the glaring evidence that the professors had been proven genuine and credible masters of their craft – of their professed “area of expertise”. They are experts in their own right and they have impressed students so.

Carine, who hardly sees the positive sometimes, reluctantly but willingly attests to the obvious matter. Several teachers deserve her respect and deference and high-esteem – this, coming from someone who hardly resigns and bows down to claimants of respect. For to Carine, respect is earned… and it must be deserved. It takes credibility to warrant it from “sometimes”, skeptic and unbelieving students like herself.

As an aspiring teacher herself, Carine could not help but feel a pang of envy. This sort of “envy” is not demoniacal in kind, though; it traipses along he borderline between challenge and resignation – not altogether evil and wicked. I, a mere witness to all these, believe that what Carine feels is healthy envy – if such a thing may be considered a valid concept, and if it may be classified as “healthy’. She feels more inspired than discouraged. I want to be like Professor So and So, she declared. There was a sparkle of ripe ambition in her eyes, too. Do you take that as uninspiration?

On the computer, Carine clicked the 4’s and 5’s on the rating scales where 5’s are the highest. She had been honest, thus far, in her assessment of the professors – the deserving ones, at least.

A certain professor’s name popped last – Professor Sarcastic & Condescending. He had seemed inconsiderate of the feelings of the students. He was eager to shot down the opinions of students – this particular professor. What should Carine do? This impression she has of the Professor, kind of stuck. Should she dismiss that fact? Should she let go of those several incidents when Professor S & C had been painfully condescending and pompous and please of himself? It had been too much for the students; it had been too much for me, Carine ruminated. She, who is hardly fazed by frivolous pompousities and acts of empty intimidation.

Professor S&C succeeded in impressing upon the students this: that there is no student who is able to detract and debunk my knowledge. Dare if they must, but it is a futile attempt. I hold the power to pass or fail them. This impression exudes bitterness; it reeks of contempt. Such a display of inflated ego, gluttonous self-esteem, self-righteousness, and swelling pride! There was not much that Carine could have done. It only pained her to realize that such a person bursting with malevolence, was easily and unknowingly given the opportunity to belittle people – innocent, uncritical people, who do not seem to have a choice but to just take in scrutiny and criticism, and swallow them whole in the guise of “constructive criticism” and “teacher’s helpful remarks”. We kid ourselves sometimes, just so we remain in the ignorant blissful confines of general amicability, pleasantry, camaraderie, high-esteem, and approbation… I find such “confines” dull and boring, honestly. But that’s just me…

and Carine perhaps…

Carine pondered on the consequences of the small rebellion she was about to commit to. Professor S&C just might take it out on her next semester. He might tell other teachers of her “rebellion”. She might wear a brand on her forehead like Cain – I diss Professors – and suffer the ramifications of prejudice. But Things like these just cannot go down the drain. We have to speak-up sometimes; we have to be heard… even through that simple clicking of 0’s and 1’s on the rating scales for Professor Sarcastic & Condescending.

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