Perhaps I’m bitter…
Perhaps I’m envious…
Perhaps I’m in denial…
Perhaps I can’t accept the fact that…
I’m left behind.
They are living closer to the skies – to the stars. And I am here at the bottom, where floods converge – where torrents of rain gather and accumulate.
They are there, closer to the stars.
When rains and storms fill the earth and murky waters gather, they have the first chance of surviving. They might live and I… well, I just might perish first. They will inhale the first air and the first oxygen, not I.
I can’t feel bad towards all of them. Some have actually worked hard to get there. Some, however, have sheer dumb luck.
I’m one in between… I guess some people are meant to stay in the ground, so that others may go up. Some have to stay on the ground, so others may need to go up. The space up there is not as expansive as the space down here. That limited space is for the filtered and chosen – those who deserve to be there; those who were and are meant to be there; those whom God destined to put there.
I wonder whether I deserve to be there. I wonder if I am meant to be there. Has God written my name among the chosen residents of there?
I hope for the best, of course. I hope to be there… if only for the sake of my family. I can still hope; I can still afford to hope. As long as I can try to be there, I will. As long as a Window remains open, there is hope. There is hope for me to be there.
They live close to the skies. Like them, I hope and want to live close to the skies someday. I hope it won’t be too late for me, though. I hope I will get to touch the sky while there is strength left to hoist me up. I hope to reach the skies while I still have the sense and mind to enjoy the view up there.
I hope the ones living close to the skies know how blessed and lucky they are to be up there. They can afford to feel content and happy; they can afford not to care and worry. They should cherish and relish their nearness to the skies and never forget that once upon a time, they sprang from the earthy ground, where others are meant to stay behind.