An Occasional Slap on the Face

I’m very tired. I feel negativity sinking in and defeating good vibes just because I am exhausted. My body is not used to movement anymore – movement that is necessary and essential to a high schooler’s overall growth and development. I’m way past that stage, I think… and I have not expected to go back to that physically demanding state since I closed the high school chapter of my life.

Here I am again, licking my sore limbs and nursing my extremities in spasm. Of late, I am obliged to involve myself in an Interpretative Dance & choir singing… for the fulfillment of a final requirement in Child Care.

I am not amused at all with extra-curricular activities that have no bearing, whatsoever, to the certification of one legitimate C*****. The thought and justification (more of an alibi) that such professionals should be “well-rounded” and “experienced”, is just plain bull*** in this case, especially when “well-roundedness” means wasting time in pointless involvements like folk-dancing for the express purpose of showcasing the talent of one Diva teacher!

In this juncture,  the Madam Diva,  dances at the center of the stage in micro-mini shorts and the largest Peacock-tail headdress.  Her students,  who were required to spend so much cash, stay and lurk at the background -behind Madam Diva… They are mere accessories and embellishments to the grandeur that is Madam Diva.

I wonder where the apparent fascination of spending a lot of money, time and effort for extra-curriculars-with-no-bearing, rooted from…

I know… from a group that was willing to expend and spend so much hitherto. We suffer the dire consequences of coming after that certain group that whetted the appetites and ambitions of the coordinators and teachers alike.

My body has changed since I reached the 24th year of my life; so much has changed and I am still learning to adjust to the disadvantaged “state”. I feel old now, you see…

I complain and whine inwardly. It is hot and humid in this part of the planet. To top it all off, I am constantly moving and sweating and battling traffic and fending body-slamming instances.  I am almost tempted to give up and quit. But I know better now than to give in to temporary discomfort and inconvenience.

A certain Ate Jenelyn said that she finds her “student-time” very relaxed and restful. Her body is not used to the “extra time” she has in her hands. She even looks for other ways to spend her time! Though fat beads of sweat trickle down from her forehead down to her chin, there’s no way this seems to bother her at all. Nothing in her face indicates complaining. I suspect that she even welcomes the profuse sweating!

Apparently, her plethora of experiences as a domestic helper in other countries have accustomed her body to bear and do hard work for 18 hours a day, every day of the week. What seems to be “difficult”, hard, challenging, tiresome, wearisome, exhausting, and physically demanding to me, doesn’t faze her or remotely affect her in the way I am now affected. She doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that I am secretly irritated with petty causes of discomfort and already, I’m complaining about inconveniences.  She must’ve expected me to know how to bear such things,  for in her eyes,  these things are trivial and minor – silly nonsense.

Some real-life superwoman there, if you’d ask me. Her arms and legs are built, molded, and stocked for hard labor.

Salute… salute… salute…

My problems and complaints are nothing compared to what others like Ate Jenelyn had and have to bear in real life. How petty, frivolous, trivial am I!

The spastic sensations of physical pain and exhaustion are nothing. I should look at the bright side instead of whining and complaining about temporary bodily pains! I should be grateful that, at least, I haven’t gone through the hardships that others had and have to go through just to improve their status and state in life. I should be grateful that I wasn’t and am not forced to bend so low to kiss the earth… not yet,  at least.

I am still blessed and lucky.

Sometimes, I forget that. I tend to take things for granted…

Selfish, childish me… whining and complaining like a bleating goat!

If I were in the shoes of people like Ate Jenelyn who brave and bear scant renumeration from, dare I say, inconsiderate clients and employers – certain human specimens who sometimes think that servants and helpers are super humans or robots with inexhaustible strength,  just to have something – anything at all- to bring home… anything for survival… I believe I would’ve given up and melted down… for I am full of foibles and weaknesses and… defects. I am not strong -not in the way others are.

It’s good to have this kind of occasional slap on the face for awakening. It’s good to receive such chastisement once in a while… so that I may remember to keep my feet on the ground.

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